Welcome to the World, Kiddo

No one knows why
some babies cry
and others just gurgle and grimace and grin
It's been a mystery
all through our history
(except for the ones medicated with gin)

For mother and father
would really much rather
be able to sleep undisturbed through the night
But natural selection
just has no effect on
the reactions they have when you turn out the light

You would have thought
kids had to be taught
how to be happy or solemn or weird
Yet in reality
their personalities
seem to be fated before they appear

Some of the boys
are terribly noisy
and some people say that it must be genetic
But others of them
are born gentlemen
and plenty of girls are too energetic

So if you've caught 'im
trying to be naughty
you might as well say he just is what he seems
But when he's nice
take my advice
and give all of the credit to his excellent genes